Wednesday, October 25, 2017

More Murphy's Laws

Passed on from a friend.

*1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
 until you hear them speak.

 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a
​ 
fine for doing well. 

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 

4. A day
​ 
without sunshine is like, well, night. 

5. Change is inevitable, except from
​ 
a vending machine. 

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
​ 
don't. 

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 

8. The
​ 
50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 

9. It is said that if you
​ 
line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them. 

10. If the shoe fits, get another one
​ 
just like it. 

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things
​ 
left by those who got there first. 

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat
​ 
for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 

14 . God gave you
​ 
toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into
​ 
court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.*